We have come a long way considering the advancements in social and technological sciences. However, we seem to have neglected the one thing that is the panacea to our happiness and is the most important thing in our lives. That is love; to love and to be loved is our most singular desire regardless of class, race or culture. To a certain extent, this natural desire has been addressed by social and religious teachings but never in a complete way. The introduction of dogma has prevented us from expressing our love freely. Thus far, love has been practiced within the confines, of what is and what is not acceptable. Such teachings have been embedded in our psyche through generations as the right way of expressing our love. This has created much resistance within us which often translates into physical pain.

Seldom have we questioned the need for barter while expressing our love. Even at its supposedly purest form, parents expect their siblings to behave in a certain manner in return for the years they have put into bringing up those children. Love has been reduced to a form of commercial transaction; at best a marriage of convenience, expressed in an atmosphere of competition: I give you my love and in return I expect certain things from you.

More than ever we now know that the most important thing in our lives is love. Individually, we need to address this issue as our happiness depends on it.

As we grow up we want to be acknowledged and recognised. The need for this recognition comes from the desire to be loved and appreciated which in turn brings us happiness. We begin with education and go as far as we can to develop some sort of profession where our output is recognized to make us feel needed. Wealth accumulation has become the ultimate barometer of success. It is the focal point of most humans in modern societies. It is a way of craving for love and recognition.

Eventually even the wealthiest finds that there is something missing from their lives. That missing feeling has been described as love. This is the feeling we get when we share what we have with others. It could be of the smallest or greatest value and the person who we share it with could be the closest person to us or a total stranger, yet that feeling of love for that moment is the most powerful feeling we, as humans, tend to experience.

It is the irony that only in giving we receive that feeling of love. Giving is love in action. In that sense love means forgetting about oneself in order to serve another.

Religion has been a powerful force in our lives. Most religions demand both the love and the fear of God: two opposing sentiments. We offer God our sincere love. Serving God gives most of us much pleasure. But we also know that God is needless, so we are sharing our love with an entity that does not need it and fearing that which we should love. Not only that but we also expect some reward for this love as all religions promise a nice slice of Heaven for behaving in a certain manner. This sort of giving (like prayers, fasting, tithing, etc.) is thus conditional on receiving some reward for services rendered.

We have mirrored such expectations into our worldly relationships and transactions. Whereas with God our expectation extends beyond this life; That is when we die, we expect to go to Heaven; however, we expect the rewards instantly from our fellow humans. And if we don’t, we start making life miserable for the other party and as a result for ourself.

Love can not remain pure where guilt and expectation reign supreme.

In free societies we go through many relationships to find one which satisfies our needs and then we say that we have ‘fallen’ in love, but our relationships are based on personal satisfaction and when that person is no longer able to satisfy our demands, we cut loose.

This loosely termed ‘love’ is more about receiving than giving. It is love with conditions attached to it. It is love contaminated and therefore it really can not be called love because love by its nature is pure and unconditional.

So, if this is not love, then what is love? (See part two of this article)